I just want some sleep.

Saturday night I decided to go to bed early because I wasn't feeling well. I went to bed a six. Well at nine o'clock my mother came into my room and handed me my medicine. I would of rather skipped a night to be woken up. Especially tonight because I have been up sense then. It is now five twelve Sunday morning. I have tried going to sleep, but nothing seems to be working. It is moments like these that makes me want to scream. That of course would not help me sleep. It would most likely just wake me up even more. I am also not wide awake. I am this weird half awake half a sleep and I just can't get over the hump to fully sleeping.

I am curious to why I am wide awake. Is it a medicine side effect or is it just my body being weird. I never know any more. My new medicine causes bruises from nothing. So I have to check my body for random bruises. I feel like I have to keep a list of what I knock into that way when a bruise appears I know if it really a bruise or medicine just annoying me.

This next part I have to give a little background information. My mother, even though I am 18 still takes care of all my medical stuff. The reason for this is because if I was in charge I wouldn't do it and I would be far worse than I am now. I guess for my mother to do this I have to sign over medical power of attorney. It allows my mom to talk to my doctors and schedule my appointments and such. I really don't know how I feel about it. I can say no, but then I would have to take responsibility on that part of my life and I rather not at this point. I am not a good multitasker when it comes to the important stuff. I don't know exactly how it works, but that is the main point. I am wondering if I can get more specific like to which doctors and what matters they are allowed to discuss. That would make me feel like I still had some 18 year old rights beside voting. Random fact: I am registered. I will have to talk to my psychiatrist(women who gives the meds) more in detail on the 20th. That is my next appointment.

I wish I could say I am ending this because I am going to go to sleep, but I am not. Maybe I will go learn to play my guitar. I got it on ebay for about 5 bucks. Nice guitar...just never learned how to play it.